REMINISCING.

03 agosto


To reminisce. The act or process of recalling past experiences.

" Suddenly, and at least once in your life, you find yourself silently staring, hearing the sound of your own breathe mash together with the waves. In front of you, endless tones of blue moving with the wind. Behind you, life.
The water hits the enormous rock holding your body dry. You move away as fast as possible but as you look down you notice your toes are wet and your knees have been splashed. And in that moment, you finally realize it's pushing you back, whether you want to or not, away from the blue and into your life."

These photos were taken a long while back when my hair was shorter, my friends were closer and my thoughts were smaller.
At this time in my life, all I can remember thinking about was wanting to escape. Be free.
I felt like a could conquer the world with just some fresh air and as little as three people by my side.
I was wrong. And reality taught me that.

Reality wasn't something I've always loved, nor do I love it now sometimes but what's great about it, is that it's real. And no matter how far you try to run away from it, it's always going to be there.
I believe we spend most of our life stuck in someone else's (perfect) body. We have our own mind but we don't show it. Maybe it's because we're afraid, maybe it's because we're proud or maybe it's because we just don't know how. *unintentional rhime*

I can't pinpoint an exact moment in my life where I can say that I've changed but I have, and it feels..different. I feel different.
When I was little I had two best friends, they were the girls I wanted to spend my life with, I wanted to show up at their house EVERY SINGLE DAY after school and play videogames, write songs and read books. That was my life. That made me happy.
Fastforward 5 years later, I'm living on the other side of the world and never got to see them again.
Eventually I make new friends, of course they would never replace my first couple but they made me laugh and they made me cry countless times. Once again, I was happy.

Sebastian came around. I've known him previously and even though I wouldn't really say I was in love at the time, he did manage to roam around in my head all day. At 15 and after a couple boy disasters he decided to stick around for a while to get to know eachother. That while, became a lifetime.
I cannot think of anyone that has made me feel the happiest and luckiest person alive.

I never wanted to be that friend that leaves their friends for a boy so I managed to balance everything out for a couple years until we finished secundary school.
That was when these photos were taken and that was when I felt I changed the most.
My best friends and I decided to take a short trip together to say goodbye to that chapter of our lives and start a new one.

I didn't know what to study and I may not be sure of it now but I've always been a fan of curiosity and been trying out new things for a while. And I think it's going great. I discovered what I like and what I don't. What makes me laugh and what makes me scream.

We are all in a different place in our lives and we all are trying to discover ourselves every single day. Please do not waste your life in things that don't make it feel worth living.

Today I started a new job. And it's not like the dreams I had as a little girl nor the dreams I'm having now. But I do like to explore and try new things and honestly, it's not that bad.

So yeah, it may not be what I want or what makes me happy but I know I need something, and this something is helping me get somewhere. So in the end, let's all just hope it's worth it.
Wish me luck on figuring out how to manage love, friendship, work, uni and family all together now! lol


NOTE: I know this is a really different post than usual but sometimes I feel like my brain needs a break and I like to write. Thoughts are typically held in my journal, but I thought this would be a nice change.
Thanks for sticking around, sending love your way xx

//

"De repente, y al menos una vez en tu vida, te encontras con una fija y silenciosa mirada, escuchando el sonido de tu respiración combinarse con el de las olas. En frente tuyo, infinitos tonos de azul moviendose con el viento. Y por detrás, vida.
El agua choca la enorme piedra que mantiene tu cuerpo seco. Reaccionas en cuestión de segundos y bajas la mirada, notas tus pies mojados y tus rodillas salpicadas. Y en ese momento, finalmente te das cuenta que estás siendo empujado, en contra de tu voluntad, lejos del azul y hacia la realidad."

Sé que es muy distinto a lo que normalmente comparto, pero mi cerebro necesita descansos a veces y me gusta escribir. Los pensamientos generalmente son guardados en mi cuaderno pero creí que sería un buen cambio esta vez.
Gracias por leer, una vez más y como siempre xx



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